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The Olympics and other dreams  
10:52pm 22/02/2010
Watched the Olympics tonight... been watching almost every day, getting my sports fix for the next four years lol. But I caught the Ice Dance finals, and for those of you who don't care or were under a rock, Canada took gold in the event. Not only did we take it, but the pair totally deserved it. Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir are, hands down, the best ice dance pair in the world. (And I'm not just saying that because I'm Canadian :P ) 

But every last one of the athletes who skated tonight deserve applause. The amount of work to get there is mind-boggling, and the talent it takes to excel to the top is even greater. Only when work and talent come together do you see what we saw tonight. A decade of training comes down to this, 4 minutes in Pacific Coliseum.

But I dislike the Canadian emphasis on gold this year. We are putting too much pressure on our athletes to be, not just one of the best but THE BEST. Fourth may not win a medal, but by God that is a damned good effort, and it breaks my heart to see people who have worked so hard crying and apologizing because their best wasn't good enough.

It happens. They're human. They mess up. And sometimes, there is that magical fusion of talent and training that creates someone who is just, simply, the best, no wonder who they're competing for.

So to all the athletes both in the Olympics and Paralympics, no matter who you represent; good on you! Well done and hold your heads up in pride, for if you're 1st or 21st, you're still the sporting elite of the world. Do your best. 

PS: To all those rude curling fans; you should be ashamed of yourselves. Hang your heads! How rude, how disgusting and how Un-Canadian of you to deliberately try to distract an opponent. If you had tried that in a gold tournament you would have been thrown out, and I think that if it happens again the referees would be well within their rights to pause the game or allow the re-throw of a rock. It is insulting, both to our visitors and to the Canadian team. Do you think they can't win without low and unsportsmanlike 'support'?
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Cruising the net on a rainy day  
07:46pm 10/08/2009
It's a rainy day in August, and I've got a few minutes to breathe. Just thought I would post this for posterity.  Most of the articles on this site are funny, in either a sarcastic or sardonic way, but this one has some rather profound truths.


Check it out.

Time for me to run again. Ja ne!
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Rest in Peace Ga  
05:16am 02/07/2009
My grandmother died today, at 3:15 am. I was there, and my mother, and my aunt; she didn't spend her last hours alone, which is what she would have wanted.  She touched a lot of lives; her children and her grandchildren and her great-grandchildren.

She won't be forgotten.

Ga was the most stubborn woman I know. She refused to take life any way but by the horns, and she lived independently and well to the end, despite being legally blind and nearly crippled with arthritis. Her pain's over now... as our priest said, she lived her purgatory on earth. She's probably already chasing Pa around Heaven with a ladle for calling her 'woman'.

It doesn't seem real to me; but then death rarely does. I tend to see the dead as around the corner, in another place. I can't see them, and I will miss them, but I will see them again. My grief is for myself and for the living.

Ga lives on in the lessons she gave her family. She taught me to cherish what I have, and to never ever allow myself to be ruled by anything but my own will. She also taught, by her very life, to never give up. Despite everything life threw at her, she maintained her dignity.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, Ga. Beloved mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, matriarch of our family. Rest in peace.
location: home
mood: sadsad
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A story  
04:29pm 12/11/2008
Once upon a time...

There was a man who sought water to drink, thirsty and looking for a spring from which to quench his thirst. As he journeyed, he found a wellspring that flowed from the rock, pure and clean and perfect.

As he looked around the clearing, he could see that he was not the first person to have found the spring, for scattered around the area where many different vessels for gathering the water. Some were fancy, some plain, some shallow and some deep.  Some were old, broken and shattered; others had been broken and carefully mended. Some seemed to be in good repair, but when he looked at them they proved to be full of cracks and leaks.

Finally after much searching he found a vessel that seemed to him to be sound, and used that to gather some of the water and drink. His thirst quenched, he put the vessel aside and moved on. For sweet as the water had been it was impossible for one vessel to gather it all, and equally impossible for him to carry it. He could only drink what he could hold, and move on, and hope that he once again found the wellspring when he grew thirsty.
mood: contemplativecontemplative
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07:18pm 04/11/2008

Okay, once again I show that I epic fail at updating a journal. Which explains why I never had a paper one and have to depend on my memory to remember things. Long term good, short term sucks balls.

Anyway, this month I'm actually trying NaNoWriMo. For those of you who don't know, it is a novel writing challenge (not contest) where you try to write a novel in 30 days.

Yes, 30 days.

A short novel, really... 50,000 words, 1667 words a day. So far I'm keeping up (yay!) with the encouragment of my friends and my husband. And hopefully this will mark my second completed novel... though I don't think I'm capable of writing a novel that short. <--- See? there's an official badge to prove it. It's certainly proving to be fun and challenging, and helps me to remember why I love writing to begin with. Now to keep the pruning shears at hand so this thing doesn't grow too far out of hand... 

Wish me luck, minna-san! 
location: Work
mood: creativecreative
music: Dryad Radio
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Watching the debate  
10:15pm 02/10/2008
Well, Canada has another election and its time for the leader's debate. So far I'm actually fairly disappointed.  Attacking the prime minister is all well and good, but they're making it sound as 'us against them' and it gives the opportunity for him to defend his policies... and that gives him more time to put out his views.

Not that I have any particular issue with Mr. Harper... to be fair, especially early in his reign he did a very good job of running the country. But he's been running scared for most of this election and been trying to both strike back and at the same time be all fuzzy and friendly. :/ Make up your mind Mr. Harper. The blue wool glove over the steel fist doesn't work in Canada.

Blah blah blah blah... everyone is going over the same thing. There is nothing new being presented by any of the party leaders.

I have to admit, Jack Layton is a very good and efficient debater. Full of shit, but good debater. Good BC NDP gov't my ass.  I think that the NDP makes a very good opposition party, but a very poor government party.

The Liberals are crippled in English Canada by having a poor English speaking leader. Language skills notwithstanding, I think probably Stephane Dion is probably the most honest of them. Which, honestly, isn't saying much.

Of course no one wants to admit that they might go into deficit. Liberal is a swear word in the States... it seems deficit is the swear word in this election.

I love how everyone seems to think that it's a wonderful new idea to shift to 'green' industries. I could have told them that about 5 years ago.

I think the one think that they are completely missing with the idea of carbon taxes is that it won't drop the emissions... it just means that they are going to be paying more for their pollution. What you have to do is make it more expensive to pollute than it is to not pollute and there is NOTHING that says that they will do that.  If it is still cheaper to make the product, pollute and pay.  The other problem with that is that it WILL trickle down to the people. Admit that, it's economic reality.

So if it's going to happen, accept it. Accept it, and find a way instead to LIMIT those emissions. I like the idea of a carbon tax... but if they are going to do it, make it crippling. Not this half-assed shit that Canada is so known for.

*giggles* Okay, just amusing to watch them break the pattern and talk over each other.

I am seeing an advantage to having a provincal party here though. It's bringing a provincial aspect that is important, since the federal gov't doesn't live in a vacuum.

Hmm. Health care. We need coverage for medication all right. I can understand charging for 'optional' drugs, but not for drugs that are necessary. Like insulin for diabetics. They CAN'T live without it.

Jobs... yes, you've created more jobs... people have to work more jobs because their money isn't going as far. Jobs are good, but you need to create EFFECTIVE jobs.

The Arts... oh don't even go there. It seems they all say "We support the arts!" but this is the government who put through legislation to restrict tax cuts to companies that make movies that don't fit their standards. :/

I would like to see the police budgets increased so that they are paid for what they actually do... risk their lives to keep the regular people like me safe, and to catch me speeding. ^^;

There is no one single solution to problems. There is one thing that I do agree with the NDP on... even if I don't think they would make a good government.

Really, I'm hoping for either a Liberal or Conservative minority government, hopefully Conservative. It's too soon to have the Liberals back.
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Training, day who knows  
10:42pm 25/09/2007
Well, I'm in Cornwall, ON training for a new job as a weather observer. It's really interesting and I enjoy it a lot.

Luckily I have internet here. ^^
location: Cornwall
mood: blahblah
music: Summoning of the Muse
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Words and Wishes at Christmastime  
10:25pm 25/12/2006
It's strange... that the littlest thing can make or break a holiday for you. I had a wonderful Christmas... first with my husband's family, then with my own. But it was a little comment that my mom made that completely ruined it for me.

I'm not a social butterfly. I never claimed to be, but I like to think that I do pretty well considering I don't like spending time with large groups of people. Well, I was commenting that some people don't enjoy sitting around chatting all the time. Mom opened her mouth and said "But then they end up like you... anti-social." Like it was some kind of disfiguring disease or something.

And that hurt.

I don't see myself as anti-social. I have friends, both on and off the 'net. I have people I talk to on a regular basis, and though it's not the largest circle of friends in the world, I have them. But I am very different from the rest of my family... I have interests they don't. And a few years of being mocked for being interested in anime and fantasy is quite enough to drive anyone away.

I've been told I need to grow a thicker skin. Try it for a while before you say that... have your every comment be mocked and played with, used to laugh at you and treated as though it, and you, were an amusing topic of conversation. I don't like being gossiped about, but that doesn't bother me. Being mocked does. And having my interests held up for ridicule is even worse. I like anime. I enjoy reading and writing. I enjoy collectable card games and playing them.

I don't mock people for finding interests and going with them... is it so much to ask for the same consideration?

All the same, I was trying. I don't bring up my hobbies, I talk, I don't hide... in fact, I was in my mind just as social; the difference is that I drift around with the different 'cliques' though the house. But apparently that isn't good enough... and being reminded that you're not good enough in your own mother's eyes is a hell of a Christmas present.

Half the family didn't even bother to show up, but that didn't bother me. I felt sorry for the kids... they were the ones who really were left out. But nonetheless it was fun. We were talking, laughing, enjoying ourselves. But even that wasn't good enough. I don't know what people expect... but I do know that there seems to be an attitude that it should just happen.

It's not going to as long as you follow the same pattern. Come in, have dinner, exchange presents, talk... or watch TV, or play video games. Even the people complaining about it don't DO anything about it. They don't move from the kitchen to the living room to socialize with the people in there, but seem to expect people to socialize with them on their ground alone.

And that isn't fair.

Maybe I'm being naive... but I enjoyed Christmas. I enjoyed spending time with my family. Even if everyone couldn't be there, it's better to focus on the positive rather than dwell on the negative. But by the end of the evening, that was all there was...that negativity.

And that's sad.

I hope that we can find a way to fix that before next year. It's not the people. It's the attitude that needs to be adjusted.
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03:57pm 17/07/2006
You know, it's a good think that a) I don't beleive in divorce and b) my husband doesn't read this. Because right now I could cheerfully strangle him.

I know that the oath says "For better or for worse", but where the HELL does it say "My father pissed me off so I'm gonna go home and bitch at my wife?" I could handle once or twice a month, or even once or twice a week. But it's been EVERY SINGLE DAY. He comes home in a pissy mood, and wants to either fuck or play video games. But he wants me with him to WATCH him play video games, because it means I'm paying attention to him instead of doing something intersting. Watching someone else play video games gets old fast, let me tell you. So I go on the computer. Which means that I'm not paying attention to him, which means he sulks. I probably wouldn't mind the paying attention thing so much if it were actually recipricated. But no... he spends 15 minutes bitching about his day, then promptly ignores me anyway. So what the hell difference does it make if he's ignoring me on the computer or on the couch? But apparently I'm supposed to wait around on the couch for whatever scraps of attention he can spare me when he's not playing Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories.


So we had a fight over this, and I thought I had it worked out. But no... he comes home and bitches me out because HE left stuff by the door and tripped over them (those aren't MY shoes scattered all over the floor) and because I didn't put on the air conditioner, so HE is going to fry. I try. I was civil, even polite and sympathic... and he takes my fucking head off!

Goddamnit, I am SICK of his shit!! I love him, but damnit, why does he have to treat me like a fucking shitrag, then expect me to be all lovey-dovey? Oh yes, I'm really in the mood for sex after hearing about how terrible his day is and how awful his boss is. Sympathy, yes... but I'm not going to sit there and watch him sulk. I've tried it... he ignores me, or takes my head off. Or he grabs my boobs like they're his own personal playthings.

One of these days he's going to get hit for that. I didn't hand over the deed to my body with my wedding vows.


And last night, he came down with a massive headache after we fought and claimed it was because I psychically attacked him. And while I am capable of such, I don't think that I did... unless it was on a completely subconscious level.

I am very very close to the edge tonight. He's swiftly running to the end of even my patience.
mood: bitchybitchy
music: Great Big Sea - Something Beautiful
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07:55pm 16/07/2006
I had a dream the other night... I dreamed my death.

They say that when you dream of death it means that a new life is coming... but what about dreaming of your own death? Is it literal, or simply indicating a massive change in your life?

Either way, it seems that something will happen around July of 2009. Three years from now. Some kind of change... or my death by some kind of lung disfunction.

Not a good thought. It scared me enough to wake up crying my eyes out.

Not my death... death doesn't scare me. It's pain I'm not too fond of. I think the reason I was crying was that I was dying with no children and leaving a husband behind... odd, considering my husband never thought he would make 30.

Is that what's in store for me? Who can say...only the Lord. But this is one of the times I wish I didn't sometimes dream true.
location: Home
mood: melancholymelancholy
music: Great Big Sea
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